Great Sex Secrets

Archive for the ‘Anal’ Category


Image via Wikipedia

For some men, stimulation to the perineum will add to an overall pleasure picture. For others it will greatly increase sensations and/or improve orgasm.

I recently read about someone who referred to the perineum as her partners fast forward button. It increased his arousal level incredibly!!!

Arousing the perineum during oral sex is very easy. Using a small bullet style vibrator or our new Velvet Pleasure, which is shaped like a dental mirror, but vibrates and has a super soft and smooth feel with adjustable vibrations is a great way to hit the pleasure train.

During intercourse it can be a little more challenging, but not impossible. A female should be able to reach and massage or fondle the male perineum in a variety of different positions.

A couple other tips:

·       lube is a great accessory with any stimulation

·       be sure your nails are trimmed

·       since the anus is close by, be sure to be prepared for safe stimulation by using some type of barrier method… condom a finger, cut one in half to use like a dental dam for oral stimulation, or even saran wrap!

Histological section of prostate gland.

Image via Wikipedia

Remember, for guys the prostate gland, also known as the male g-spot, the p-spot or the a-spot, is located just a little bit north of the perineum…sort of between the perineum and the anal canal. I know, a bad visual, but I bet you got the picture.

So what do you want to do with this little landing spot? 
Since some men find testicle stimulation to be a little TOO much, 
stimulation of the perineum is a good alternative. As I always recommend, 
if you decide to experiment with any new bedroom fun, be sure the avenues of 
communication are open. And while you are in the neighborhood, consider trying some of 
these moves on the penis, scrotum or anus too!
  •    licking
  • gently sucking (and no teeth unless specifically requested, and then only super gently)
  • fondle especially during intercourse!
  •  massage
  • vibration
Muscles of the male perineum

Image via Wikipedia

Hot tip for the guys -dont over look the labia! As women get aroused, the labia also fills with blood, along with all her other special parts. Then the lips become extra sensitive. Try licking the labia, gently sucking, or touching them while you manually stimulate the clitoris for extra sensation if she likes it.

On men, the perineum is that little piece of real estate located behind the testicles and before the anus that no one really knows what to do with. It has lots of different names, including

·       the taint – it taint butt and taint balls

·       The tween –it is tween the balls and the hole or

·       twixt the sack and the crack

·       The Chode is sometimes used, although chode can also be used for a very short thick penis, as well as a word for fornication itself.

·       gooch,

·       grundle

Sagittal section of the lower part of a female...

Image via Wikipedia

Taint Tween Chode? What exactly is it? What do I do with it?

Ladies: Have you touched your partner in that special place lately? If you haven’t you just might be missing out on some super excitement! So what am I talking about? The Perineum of course.

We all have one.
It is rich in nerves and has great potential to be aroused during fore-play and intercourse.On the ladies it is behind the vaginal opening and before the anus.

Or as I heard it at one of my parties, if its between the ‘giney and the heinie or Ain’t her cooter, ain’t her pooter. And while it is a pleasure area for women, we would probably get better benefit from stimulation to other areas like: clitoris, g spot, vaginal opening or anal opening.

A woman swats away the stork which has brought...

Image via Wikipedia

This is not usually a question your friendly neighborhood Passion Consultant answers…but I checked with the CDC and referring sites…and here is the bad news.

The only 100% effective method is abstinence.

The most popular methods of birth control listed at the CDC include:

Women-Birth Control pills, Injections, Implants, Iud, Diaphragm, cervical cap, Female Condom,

Male- Condom

Both- Withdrawal, rhythm method

Other than withdrawal, technically known as coitus interruptus…

the rest of the methods can prevent pregnancy when used regularly and properly. Keep in mind that the rhythm method aka natural family planning does take a high degree of motivation and dedication to be effective.

Using things like spermicide, douches after sex, standing up during intercourse, coughing afterward, jumping up and down or not having an orgasm are not methods that work for the purposes of birth control, and are really not much fun either. So see your doctor if family planning or birth control is something you would like more info about.

Besides being naughty and excited by the whole taboo thing,

There are lots of nerve endings that can make anal play pleasurable for both men and women. The prostate, the rectum and the rim of the anus are all rich sources of nerve endings. Gentle stimulation of these areas can be very pleasurable for both men and women if we are ready for it.

So if it is something you want to try…Talk to your partner about it. Find out their experiences, feelings and thoughts on the subject of back door play, anal exploration, sexual fantasies and such.

If your partner says no…

Have them check out this blog! I am here to help everyone explore their greatest fantasies and desires – pleasurewise. No doesn’t always mean no…but they many not know enough about how and why they would even want to try this yet.

Many women are embarrassed about anal play, some have been curious about it. There are just as many who have had very bad experiences in the past.

I always say that if the “oops I slipped” guy is your only experience with anal play, that absolutely positively does not count. Listen to the suggestions here, and maybe consider trying just one thing to see if you like it! The anus is rich in nerve endings, and some women can orgasm from the pelvic contractions combined with the excitement of anal play.

Likewise, men often seem to be overly eager to experiment with this new form of play, yet are concerned about the sexual orientation issue of being on the receiving end, and are pretty convinced that their partners would never consider anything back door anyway.

Talking to each other about your desires is the only way to go. You may have more in common than you think!

Cover of "Kinsey"

Cover of Kinsey

For most woman it is an extremely sensitive region and most of us feel it is taboo. We are not open minded to exploring.

Guys are concerned that this implies gayness…but that is where the male g- spot is.  Just because you enjoy anal play, it does not make you gay…just like all gay men do not engage in anal play.

Here are a few boring statistics….keep in mind, it is hard to get good numbers in sex studies, because we are all so used to telling lies in bed.

In the 1950’s, Kinsey stated that the anal area had erotic significance for about half of the population.

In a survey of 100,000 Playboy readers, 47% of the men and 61% of the women shared that they are have tried anal intercourse.

One researcher, who surveyed one group of people in the 1970s then another in the late 1980s, offers a good point of comparison. In the first survey, 25 percent of women had anal sex and 8 percent reported engaging in it regularly. In the second, 72 percent had anal sex, and 23 percent reported engaging in it regularly.

The most recent U.S. data from a national representative sample comes from the 2002 National Survey of Family Growth (NSFG), which was conducted on over 12,000 men and women aged 15 to 44. Results show that 34 percent of men and 30 percent of women reported engaging in anal sex at least once.

So what does this tell us? There is no reason to be embarrassed.  OK, I am officially off my anal kick for a while…what next? You will have to check back!

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Darlene The Party Lady Is a Passion Parties Independent Consultant, Romance Ehnancement Specialist, Author, Trainer and Sex-EduTainer!

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