Great Sex Secrets

Posts Tagged ‘Clitoris

Muscles of the male perineum

Image via Wikipedia

Hot tip for the guys -dont over look the labia! As women get aroused, the labia also fills with blood, along with all her other special parts. Then the lips become extra sensitive. Try licking the labia, gently sucking, or touching them while you manually stimulate the clitoris for extra sensation if she likes it.

On men, the perineum is that little piece of real estate located behind the testicles and before the anus that no one really knows what to do with. It has lots of different names, including

·       the taint – it taint butt and taint balls

·       The tween –it is tween the balls and the hole or

·       twixt the sack and the crack

·       The Chode is sometimes used, although chode can also be used for a very short thick penis, as well as a word for fornication itself.

·       gooch,

·       grundle

I think A great introductory couples’ toy is a c-ring. Start out with a non-vibrating version, which maximizes your clitoral and labial stimulation. Communicate how the added sensations can enhance the experience.  Our Rocket Rings are top notch.

Another great beginner’s option is our Deluxe Love Smitten and a bullet vibrator. This gives you lots of options starting out with a wonderful stress busting massage…into a vibrating massage…into where ever you want your adventure to take you.

Eventually you may want to move into more powerful versions with attached bullets designed to stimulate both of you at the same time. My recommendation is The Progressor, my most popular multi function couples toy.   It is soft, stretchy with a removable bullet that has multiple speed and pattern settings for lots of fun, relaxing and stimulating play.  The Progressor (pictured above) is my #1 choice since is can be used alone, with vibration, you can separate the bullet and use it alone, and of course it can also be used as a G Spot Training wheel! (more on that later)

The Way You Look Tonight

Image via Wikipedia

OK, maybe not a manual but here is a good article!


The Female Orgasm: Help Her Achieve One Tonight

Gold-toned Ben Wa balls.

Image via Wikipedia

  • Practice your breathing techniques. The body often tenses up right before climax, constraining oxygen. When oxygen is reduced, blood flow weakens. As a result, the orgasm is shortened or never achieved. By performing regular breathing exercises, you can train yourself to breathe properly at all times. This will result in higher oxygen saturation; improved blood flow; and stronger, longer, more frequent orgasms. All good things!
  • Work your PC muscles. The pelvic floor muscles automatically convulse during orgasm. By flexing them during sex, you can prolong the pleasurable contractions and, in some cases, multiply the fun. Strengthen your PC muscles with a kegel exerciser suitable to your ability level. I have 3 available—Kegel Pods, Pleasure Pearls or Ben-Wa Balls. Email me if you need help deciding which would be right for you.
  • Studies have shown that a diet high in fruits, vegetables, nuts, whole grains, olive oil and fish, and low in red meat, can have a positive effect on sexual function, including one’s ability to orgasm.
  • Don’t be afraid to explore your body. How can you expect anyone else to please you if you can’t please yourself ? Take time out to get to know your body. Become acquainted with your own anatomy and what feels good. Try stimulating the various areas and see what you likey…
My lab coat and scrubs -- Samir धर्म 11:07, 7 ...

Image via Wikipedia

A Sexam does not have to be a solo mission. If and when you are comfortable, this is also a great practice for you and your lover to try out as well. This is a great way for you can be sure he or she knows exactly what pleases you – no more excuses.

  • Make a rule to wait a couple of hours after the exam before you have sex. This allows you both to make the most of the exam’s educational benefits.
  • Follow the same suggestions as a solo exam, but take turns exploring.
  • Don’t touch one another at the same time. Each of you should focus solely on one another.
  • Communicate what feels good and what doesn’t.
  • Consider turning this into one of those fantasies, has anyone got a white coat and stethoscope?

Did you know the average American will eat 35,000 cookies in a lifetime. I figure you deserve to eat a cookie if you made it through your first sexam!

The average American woman spends 55 minutes per day getting showered, dressed, and groomed.  By now that sexam is sounding like a pretty good idea, right?

A:  Prepuce (Hood) of Clitoris

B:  Clitoris

C:  Opening of Urethra (urinary tract)

D:  Labia minora

E:  Labia majora

F:  Opening of Vagina

G:  Vestibule

H:  Hyman tissue (residual if any)

I:  Opening of Anus

  • Set a relaxed and quite mood with a flair of sensuality.
  • Arrange for  privacy, it would be hard to explain this to your neighbor or mother in law.
  • Wear a robe for easy access.
  • Get comfortable.
  • Be sure you have good lighting.
  • Have a bath first if you like…
  • Dry off

Let’s Begin!

  • Sit with your back against a pillow, knees propped up and your feet on the floor or bed. Or you can do this in a tub too If you have one large enough.
  • Spread your legs; use a hand mirror to see yourself. On my! What do you see?

So what exactly are you looking for? Everything of course:

  • Note the texture and color of the skin of each part.
  • If you’d like a more “slick” feeling, add a little lube as you touch.
  • You may want to experiment by using different props to touch yourself. For instance: a vibrator, feather, or any object you think you may respond to.
  • Using a finger, stroke each small area lightly. Keep track of what area and stroke feels best to you.

Let us now identify each of the following parts you will be examining:

Vulva is the name give to the whole area we are going to explore I am going to describe the main parts now. But know there are other glands, nooks and crannies you may need to be aware of at some point in your life.

Labia Majora – the outer lips of the labia actually it means “big lips.”

Labia Minora – Inner Labia or lips. And for the record, about 1/3 of the women have larger/longer or fuller inner lips than outer lips.

Clitoris – Small pea size button located at the top area where the labia meet. It is covered by a small piece of skin called the hood. This is similar to the foreskin in an uncircumsized man. This is the holy grail of nerve endings in women, and stimulating it generally provides most women with pleasureable feelings.

  • Move the hood of the clitoris back and forth over the glands.
  • Apply different types of pressure.
  • Pay attention to the fleshy area that surrounds the clitoris too.

Vulval vestibule is between the  labia minora and the vaginal opening.

Urethra – this is the opening where the urine passes out of the body and is located in the vestibule. Urine is a sterile system, so it is never a good idea to insert anything into the urethra.

Vagina – this is where you insert a tampon, where the baby comes out and where a penis would be inserted for vaginal sex. There is a whole treasure trove inside the vagina too. IF you are feeling like feeling around, insert a finger along the front side of the vaginal wall about 1 to 2 inches in, and you should be in the neighborhood of the G-spot. A little farther in in the same area should get you to the cervix. This is the opening to the uterus…however the opening is very tiny, about the size of a pencil point. Unless you are ready to give birth of course.

  • Place 2 fingers in the outer third of the vagina.
  • Try tightening your PC muscles (also known as Kegel exercises). Do this with two fingers inside.
  • Attempt to “suck in” your fingers into your vagina by pulling in with your muscles.
  • Try to force them out by bearing down.
  • Consider using a lubed speculum to insert into your vagina (cheap, plastic ones are easy to purchase).
  • Point a flashlight into your vagina, many of you will be able to see your cervix or at least your vaginal canal in the mirror.

Tip: feel the roof of your mouth vs the cheek. That is the difference you should feel when you hit the g spot vs regular vaginal wall tissue. To get an idea of what your cervix feels like, touch the tip of your nose. The cervix is firm and you will feel a little indent area where the opening is.

Perineum– is the official name for everything behind the vagina up to the

Anus – which is the opening for waste products to be eliminated from your body. That is where you might spot those hemorrhoids some day. The best thing to know about the anus is that it is very sensitive and some people like stimulation there. We will be devoting an entire podcast to back door fun and games in the near future.

Female pelvic cavity

Image by EUSKALANATO via Flickr

No, this isn’t an exam you take with pencil and paper. The Sexam is short  for Sexological Exam.

Most women go through life having sex, periods, and giving birth without knowing what we look like “down there”. Would you be able to pick your vulva out in a line up? Now there is an interesting thought!

Why is this important? – A Sexam identifies what each part looks and feels like, so you can know for yourself and your partner what feels good to you. It will get you started on learning so much more about your body, how it responds, and help you guide your partner to your special pleasure spots. It is also a great baseline reference for you to have in case you wake up with a swollen bartholin gland one day, or even when you notice your first hemmorhoid.

The purpose of the exam is not to necessarily get you turned on… but that is not out of the realm of possibilities.

Your own private Sexam is your chance to develop your own personal roadmap to pleasure!

Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 23 other followers


Darlene The Party Lady Is a Passion Parties Independent Consultant, Romance Ehnancement Specialist, Author, Trainer and Sex-EduTainer!

My First Book - Rx For Great Sex

Click the picture to preview or purchase Rx For Great Sex

My Second Book is now Available! Click the picture for details.

Rx For Great Success - Prosperity Prescriptions for Life and Business

The Gratitude Book Project

I am contrbuting author to this amazing work, and so proud!

The Party Lady Tweets…

Darlene The Party Lady does Passion Parties too!

Book a party today for more fun and romance secrets

Book a party today for more fun and romance secrets

Add some Passion to Your Life – Me with Dr Drew