Great Sex Secrets

Posts Tagged ‘Masturbation

Start by talking about toys and your curiosity to try them with your partner. The reality of sex toys may be a bit overwhelming, so don’t pressure your partner.


Men sometimes think that a sex toy will replace them – ladies, you can respond by asking him if masturbation makes him desire you any less. The obvious answer is no, it doesn’t. Just listen to him and consider his feelings. He might not be willing now, but you’ve opened the door and if he’s even slightly curious, he’ll be thinking about it. Remember, greater communication usually equals greater sex.

Let your partner watch you with your toy and encourage them to use it with you.

Feel free to be the narrator and help your partner out by telling him what to do, where to put it, and how it feels. That can be so sexy all by itself. Eventually, try to use the toy together.

Gold-toned Ben Wa balls.

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  • Practice your breathing techniques. The body often tenses up right before climax, constraining oxygen. When oxygen is reduced, blood flow weakens. As a result, the orgasm is shortened or never achieved. By performing regular breathing exercises, you can train yourself to breathe properly at all times. This will result in higher oxygen saturation; improved blood flow; and stronger, longer, more frequent orgasms. All good things!
  • Work your PC muscles. The pelvic floor muscles automatically convulse during orgasm. By flexing them during sex, you can prolong the pleasurable contractions and, in some cases, multiply the fun. Strengthen your PC muscles with a kegel exerciser suitable to your ability level. I have 3 available—Kegel Pods, Pleasure Pearls or Ben-Wa Balls. Email me if you need help deciding which would be right for you.
  • Studies have shown that a diet high in fruits, vegetables, nuts, whole grains, olive oil and fish, and low in red meat, can have a positive effect on sexual function, including one’s ability to orgasm.
  • Don’t be afraid to explore your body. How can you expect anyone else to please you if you can’t please yourself ? Take time out to get to know your body. Become acquainted with your own anatomy and what feels good. Try stimulating the various areas and see what you likey…

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When did masturbation start? Well the practice of masturbation by Bonobo chimpanzees, which share 98.4% percent of our DNA, provides some confirmation that masturbation has likely been practiced since the dawn of mankind.

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Masturbation was depicted in 19th century Shun...
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Masturbation is only considered a problem if it inhibits sexual activity with a partner, is done in public, or causes significant distress to the person. It may cause distress if it is done compulsively and/or interferes with daily life and activities.

There can certainly be religious or cultural issues associated with masturbation…but we are not here to solve all the worlds problems today…just to get a little glimps of what the guys are up to this week!

As with women,  masturbation can actually improve a mans sexual satisfaction levels, and in turn, it can improve a relationship. By exploring your own body through masturbation, you can determine what is pleasing to you and can share this with your partner.

Sometimes partners use mutual masturbation to discover techniques for a more satisfying sexual relationship and to add to their mutual intimacy. More on that later! Now be sure to get excited waiting for it!!!

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A man masturbating

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As teenagers it is estimated that men masturbate at least once daily and eight times a week seems to be the most common average noted. Doing it more often or fewer than eight times a week is OK too. There are a lot of factors to take into account.

Favorite places to masturbate for males include the bed and bath. As for technique, generally, a male will form a loose fist around his erect penis and stroke in an up and down motion.

For most males, masturbation is healthy. Arousal is usually started by the thought of something sexually pleasing…so in short, whatever your fantasy is! Arousal is easy for most males and can happen from dozens to hundreds of times a day. Please note – Masturbation or orgasm is not required or recommended each and every time a guy gets aroused!

One more thing to add here…my usual mantra,” wetter sex is better sex” holds true for masturbation too. A little lube or oil can really make the experience much more pleasurable and intense.

I do want to caution you about some  masturbation techniques that should be avoided:

  1. Masturbating in a face-down position. Masturbation is best learned on your back. After you master that, sitting or standing are other options. If you masturbating face-down it puts too much pressure on your penis. This could cause Traumatic Masturbatory Syndrome. Switching to masturbating while on your back should prevent TMS problems when you engage in partner sex in the future.
  2. Never insert anything into your urethra. This is the opening where urine and ejaculate exit. The urinary tract is a sterile system and insertion of any object can cause injury or infections.
  3. Once you begin go ejaculate, you should let if flow. Attempting to stop the flow can send semen into your bladder and could potentially cause damage to surrounding tissues and nerves of the penis.

Most guys clean up afterward with tissue, a shirt, a sock, or whatever is handy. Be sure to grab something clean! Others rub the semen onto their bodies. While the thought of finding the wet sock or shirt is not appealing to most of the ladies, the good news is that it is not likely to cause harm.

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Pie chart showing the distribution of extant a...
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Although masturbation has been observed in every species of mammal,

there is no species where the females masturbate more often than the males.

There is also no society on earth where the women masturbate more than the men.

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Cool Jerk

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So why masturbate? In addition to feeling good, masturbation is a good way of relieving sexual tension that can build up over time. For people without partners or whose partners are not willing or available for sex is can be an excellent release. It is an alternative for people who wish to avoid pregnancy or STD’s. It also has medical applications! For instance when a man must give a semen sample for fertility testing or for sperm donation.

Nearly all males start masturbating or rubbing the penis to the point of orgasm between the ages of 12 and 14. Prior to that age, many start the act of massaging themselves, but are not able to ejaculate. As a former labor and deliver nurse, we used to see baby boys already noticing a fascination with their penis…and studies have shown that even in utero males have been known to practice the beginnings of self pleasure.

  • Statistically, about ½ of boys masturbate to orgasm by age 13.
  • Approximately ¾ masturbate to orgasm by age 14
  • by age 15 it is just about 100%.
  • Most men masturbate for the duration of their life
  • Nocturnal Emissions or wet dreams may or may not be related to sexual dreams. They are actually a result of the body’s need to release seminal fluids. It is normal to have them or not…if you do you are probably in your early to mid teens and you most likely have one about every 10 days until you start masturbating and orgasming regularly.
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