Great Sex Secrets

Posts Tagged ‘Anus

Besides being naughty and excited by the whole taboo thing,

There are lots of nerve endings that can make anal play pleasurable for both men and women. The prostate, the rectum and the rim of the anus are all rich sources of nerve endings. Gentle stimulation of these areas can be very pleasurable for both men and women if we are ready for it.

So if it is something you want to try…Talk to your partner about it. Find out their experiences, feelings and thoughts on the subject of back door play, anal exploration, sexual fantasies and such.

If your partner says no…

Have them check out this blog! I am here to help everyone explore their greatest fantasies and desires – pleasurewise. No doesn’t always mean no…but they many not know enough about how and why they would even want to try this yet.

Many women are embarrassed about anal play, some have been curious about it. There are just as many who have had very bad experiences in the past.

I always say that if the “oops I slipped” guy is your only experience with anal play, that absolutely positively does not count. Listen to the suggestions here, and maybe consider trying just one thing to see if you like it! The anus is rich in nerve endings, and some women can orgasm from the pelvic contractions combined with the excitement of anal play.

Likewise, men often seem to be overly eager to experiment with this new form of play, yet are concerned about the sexual orientation issue of being on the receiving end, and are pretty convinced that their partners would never consider anything back door anyway.

Talking to each other about your desires is the only way to go. You may have more in common than you think!


Image via Wikipedia

Foreplay= stimulation for pleasure

Sex= penetration

From a health perspective, there are a few things you need to prepare before knocking on the back door at all.

1.    Cleanliness

a.   Area must be clean – women should always wash from front to back away from the vaginal area, then pat dry. Bacteria thrives on warm wet place so don’t give them the chance.

b.   Clear the canal depending on how far you want to go

c.   Some people like to use a cleansing douche – that is optional. For some this spoils the fun because they are looking to be a little dirty.

2.   Condoms

a.   Can help prevent the rectal tissue from tearing

b.   It makes entry much more comfortable since the tissue is naturally dry and sensitive

c.   Condoms Hold lube better

d.   They can help prevent disease – not just herpes or HIV, but cross contamination.

3.   Lube Lube Lube

a.   No much is too much is the rule with lube

b.   Thicker water based products seem to work best.

c.    We also have a silicone lube that some people just love called Slip n Slide. It is not to be used with latex condoms, so you would have to get an alternative. The feel of silicone lube is velvety soft, and it lasts for a long long time, but clean up is a little more work, as it should be washed with soap and water afterward.

So what is it that makes Anal play so pleasurable?

There are lots of nerve endings… The clitoris has about the same number of nerve endings as the anus. It is all about allowing yourself to relax so you can feel good

Communication is the most important tool you have. It is hard to talk about your fantasies, especially if they involve a sneak attack to the back door. So how do you ask to explore?  Here are some tips to help you bring this up.

Guys,  Reassure your partner. Do your homework. Be safe. Have fun and relax and above all, let her know she can trust you. And since the anus is highly sensitive, it can double her pleasure!

Ladies, how do you bring this out without making your partner feel uncomfortable?  Remind him, it is not a gay or straight thing. There are as many nerve endings in the anus as there are in the clitoris. Why would he want to miss out on that much pleasure. It is also the pathway to the male g-spot or A spot a/k/a the prostate and it is a major pleasure zone for many guys.

Illustration of anal sex.

Image via Wikipedia

So your partner said yes, now what do you do????

Your home work of course! You have already talked about it, so you have an idea what is ok and not ok. But here are some ideas…

Anal intercourse is the least frequently practiced form of anal sex, so don’t start there…

The most common techniques include

  • Touching or massaging the anal opening
  • touching the anal opening with a finger while masturbating
  • touching a partner’s anus during oral sex
  • stimulating a partner’s anus during intercourse
  • inserting a lubricated and condomed finger inserted into the anal opening and gently rotate
  • insertion of a lubricated dildo or vibrator beyond the anal opening and short anal canal into the larger rectum. Many men, including heterosexuals, favor this form of penetration because it stimulates the A-spot, male G-spot or prostate.

Lets review a few important points about back door play again….

  • talk about it a lot before you try it
  • Let the receiver dictate the action and intensity
  • experiment slowly with fingers and small toys
  • remember lots and lots of lube!!!
  • Don’t be pushy unless you are asked for it
  • Don’t be disappointed if the first few times it doesn’t end up in the end the way you wanted it…good connections take time to develop
  • Don’t give up – it takes time to build up trust
  • Be gentle and supportive.
  • Learn to relax and enjoy Relaxation – mentally, emotionally and physically will allow more pleasure to flow to all areas including the anal area. Go slow, take deep breaths and allow your body to relax and warm up.

Finger binary

Image via Wikipedia

Start with cunnilingus…and a finger

The very very best way to go about anal – if you decide it is something you even want to try – is to begin orally with the clitoris. For women, anal stimulation during oral can give twice the sensation since twice the nerve endings are involved.

Guys tip, always be sure your nails are trimmed and filed. Of course you will want to both be relaxed. Place a condom over your finger and lube both the condom and the anus.

While orally stimulating the clitoris, gently start around the edges of the anus…where a lot of those nerve endings are. Many women will find this the mother lode of pleasure. Make a small O around the edges, no insertion, use firm pressure. This is a tease. Make it last as long as you can until she makes the first move.

Let it be her decision if there is to be any insertion…but for women most of the foreplay is building the anticipation. If there is any insertion, she will decide how deep how far, how fast and how long.  The key is to build anticipation and let her set the pace and the path.

Ancient Roman oil lamp depicting doggy style p...

Image via Wikipedia

Anal Intercourse
Many men and women are curious about anal sex but are scared about comfort and safety issues. If you are curious, start slow and work toward the most satisfying ending you can. And of course all the previous rules of safety apply. Relax, communicate, lubricate, condom.

The rectum is not straight like the vagina. After entering the anus there is a short anal canal which connects the anus to the rectum.  The rectum tilts toward the front of the body for a few inches, then it curves back sharply — sometimes as much as 90 degrees. After a few more inches, it turns back toward the front of the body again.

A person can learn about the shape of his or her rectum by gently inserting a soft object, trying different angles and body positions and concentrating on how it feels. Make sure the object has a flared base so that if you lose your grip, it won’t slip into the rectum and become irretrievable.  I am sure you have heard those stories from friends who work in hospitals. As a retired nurse, I can tell you that most of them are true…so don’t be one of those statistics!

Position for Pleasure

• Try a variety of Positions for anal intercourse to see what suits you best.

• Side by side or spooning is often best for beginners. It Gives receiver the most control over penetration.

• Missionary man on top face to face Provides for more intimacy and easier communication for some.

• Rear entry or doggy style allows for deepest penetration. The anus is the most exposed, often making thrusting easier.

Diagram of the rectum and anus.

Image via Wikipedia

When I refer to anal sex – anal play or back door play it includes a variety of acts which focus on the anal area> The anal area includes:

Anus – the external opening of the rectum.

Anal Canal –  connects the rectum to the anus

Rectum – the final 5-6 inches of the colon or large intestine

All of these are in the region of the back door.

Activities in that are can generally be classified into these areas:

  • External stimulation of the anus with fingers or toys ie fingering.
  • External stimulation of the anus orally or rimming
  • Anal Insertion of fingers, toys or penis into the rectum. This includes butt plugs and anal beads
  • Fisting  – not a topic we are going to cover. But involves inserting several fingers or fist into the anus and rectum.
  • Anal related Fetishes and insertion of more unusual objects. I am just going to mention these here…but we can discuss them in the future show so stay tuned for that!

OK, there we have it, our menu de jour for back door play! And I know what you are all thinking right now. Ladies, most of you are clenching tight – and guys, you are wondering if this makes you gay.  Well just relax!  That is the key – Really. Relax!

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